After taking the last few weeks off, it has made me come to a few realizations about my life. First and foremost, I’ve never been so scared before about a health diagnosis and the worry that goes along with the anticipation, is truly the hardest part to control.  After going through 12 blood tests and a biopsy, my results thankfully came back last week benign.  Although the doctors still are unsure as to why my white blood cells are still so high and I’m on so many different medications to level out my system, I’m happy to be alive.

This scare has helped me towards accomplishing some life goals of going back to college starting Monday, moving to a new city in the Fall and most importantly, learning to take care of myself to become healthier than ever. Thank you with all my heart to those that left such kind comments, emails, wishes and support – it truly meant the world to me and gave me strength at a time when I really felt so alone.

LISTEN: MIA – Born Free (2010)

I’m going into the hospital tomorrow.
My white blood cells are very high, the doctors are unsure of what’s wrong, have told me it could be cancer :( I’m very scared… Please send your prayers and good thoughts, as I really need them right now.

LISTEN

Original: Cold War Kids – Hospital Beds
Cover: Florence & the Machine – Hospital Beds

“Hospital Beds’ is a story of a couple older men that don’t know each other, stuck in a hospital room together. They find connections. They’re maybe going to die, but that’s not totally important, what’s important is that they find something where they thought there was nothing. ‘Put out the fire, boys’ is a way of saying hose me down, all this pain and ugliness, get rid of it, it’s on us.” – Source: Daytrotter

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listen

why – good friday [boards of canada remix]

black crowes – good friday

cocorosie – good friday

image: brink of something beautiful

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listen: bjork :: headphones [post, 1995]

genius to fall asleep to your tape last night
sounds go through the muscles
these abstract wordless movements
they start off cells that haven’t
been touched before
these cells are virgins

my headphones
they saved my life
your tape
it lulled me to sleep
nothing will be the same
i’m fast asleep

i like this resonance
it elevates me
i don’t recognize myself
this is very interesting

~Happy New Year~

Let’s hope this year brings us peace, happiness and love.

It’s time, don’t you think?

We’ve all been working so hard, we deserve it.

LISTEN ♥ Fleet Foxes – White Winter Hymnal

(The Twelves Remix)

IMAGE ♥ NerdyGirl

and if you don’t love me
let me go

The Decemberists – The Engine Driver

Aimee Man – The Engine Driver (Cover)

(From the 2005 album “Picaresque”, The Decemberists created their song The Engine Driver as catchy and meaningful as can be. Escaping throughout the chorus is a longing shared within a heartbreak and like all great lessons learned, sometimes it is truly better to love than to never have loved at all.)

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Image ♥ Citifed

Listen ♥ Zero 7 – Home (Ben Watt Remix)

Holidays should always be for relaxing.  Whether you have family or not to celebrate with, it’s a day for yourself really.  It can be used as a day to not give in to any stereotypes and do exactly what you want to do.  No black fridays, no guidelines, no excuses, no rushing, no worrying.  A challenge this coming year is to allow yourself anything you wish to feel for the coming and future holidays.  Create your own beautiful day, understand what you are thankful for. This time it’s not about money, gifts, or stress; it’s always been and forever about love, thanks and happiness.  And even when it seems as if no one else deserves it, remember why you still do.

KURT VONNEGUT
November 11, 1922 ~*~ April 11, 2007

Everything was beautiful
and nothing hurt

Today marks Kurt Vonngeut’s 87th birthday. Born in Indianapolis, Indiana, Kurt spent his life throughout times as a chemistry student at Cornell University, as a soldier in World War II, and then as an archeology student at the University of Chicago. However, his true passion was his gift of writing and creating novels of satire, black comedy and science fiction.

See: Playboy Interview 1992 with Kurt and Joseph Heller

[MP3] Music Go Music :: Warm In the Shadows
[Fred Falke Remix]

One of the saddest and greatest Bjork songs ever.

i’m so… completely unhealable, baby

“I recorded ‘So Broken’ that infamous week for me, the week of the bomb. The only way for me to write a song about it was just to take the piss. I wrote it in my house hitting the table singing, ‘I’m so broken (in corny, overwrought voice), olé!’ I was going to have the sound of washing dishes and three kids screaming; it would be a soap opera. Then I went to the studio in Spain and met the flamenco guitarist who plays on the track and stayed there for six months recording.”

MP3 :: Bjork & Raimundo Amador – So Broken
(Live on Jools Holland, 1998)

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